Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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