I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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