So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
