Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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