i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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