There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
