i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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