Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
