But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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