woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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