he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
