she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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