i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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