i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
