He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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