So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
