Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
