My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
