I'm lost and stupid without you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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