Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
