C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
