I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
