is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
