with your own penis?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
