How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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