I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
