How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
