Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's just like the Real World with babies
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
