And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize