her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
