Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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