Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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