When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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