just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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