She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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