I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
