I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize