there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
