Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
