Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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