Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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