marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
