This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
