Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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