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Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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