I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
