I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize