yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
