He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
