I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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