i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
