I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
