If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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