ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
