I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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