can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
