Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
