Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
