I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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