..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
