Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
