You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Congratulations! We have a period
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