It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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