There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
