where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Your penis caused this!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
